Category Archives: Things that Don’t Rhyme with Ferdinand

Don’t make me come over there

Squirrel!

At some point in the dim, distant past — around the time I was born, just before Dwight Eisenhower took the oath of office — incorporated businesses accounted for 32 percent of Federal tax receipts. By contrast, personal income taxes — not including Social Security and other retirement programs — accounted for 42.2 percent. Things […]

I Know I Am, But What Are You?

Governor Rick Perry, newly declared candidate for President of the United States, has trotted out an old, dependable, and predictable villain, one familiar to science fiction fans and Luddites alike: Scientists. Scientists — and there’s a nice blanket term for you, by the way — are manipulating data related to climate change, and they’re doing […]

My Deity Can Beat Up Your Deity

I’m dreaming, dreaming of bumper stickers:   My deity can take your deity   Yeah. That’s the ticket! Rub their noses in your superiority!   My deity has authorized me to kill in his/her/its name, so watch it, bub!   That should keep them from tailgating, don’t you think?   Your political beliefs, if they […]

The Box

“I knew what I wanted to do a minute ago. Now it’s gone.” “What’s gone?” “What I wanted to do. It’s gone.” “I don’t follow. What you wanted to do?” “Right. What I wanted to do. I don’t know.” “Um… OK. You want any more wine?” “No, I’m good. Where is this going, anyway?” “What, […]